When Your Therapist Tells You to Put Lotion On Your Scars to Help Soothe Anxiety 

I need a language to feel what it is I am trying to understand.

I want it to sound like piano keys playing softly under my fingers.

Waking up at 3am to lit candles, an open notebook, and soft blue pen strokes, I want this language to emerge from sleepy visions, to sense the stillness, and to create.

The earthy taste of tea swishing around my cheeks, I want it to soothe.

My favorite hoodie, gray, cotton, relaxed. A patch sewn on the front that reads “you can’t hug with nuclear arms.” I want it in the fabric, in the texture of its message.

The swirl of my favorite ring, sturdy, silver and oscillating with my moods, I want it to sway with emotion. To take pride in its authenticity. To honor the captivation.

More than a hug, I want to be enveloped.

I want the soft scars to start feeling soft, and the harsh realities to stop feeling as harsh.

I want those words to live in me, to feel them flow with a stoic sense of yes.

To tend to what feels tender.

Settled. Stable. Sound.

Satisfying may be a reach, but stretching is a start.

Lotion can only be so helpful.

Step one: learn to touch.


1 Response so far »

  1. 1

    Mindy said,

    Thank you for these beautiful words that create such soothing images in my mind: My favorite soft Prana t-shirt, snuggling my body in bed, as I listen to the melodic raindrops fall on a stormy night…mmmmmmmm. We all create our own soothe, then teach ourselves to feel & touch it. love, mom

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